Time Zones

Today was La Tomitina...we spent 2 hours getting to the small town it´s held in (which was probably only a 20 minute drive away) and missed it by 15 minutes... all because we forgot to push our clocks forward one hour.

We still walked around the town, saw the sights, bought a coke to support the locals, but were needless to say disappointed we missed out. However, we did hear a lot of girls saying how much they hated it. In fact one said she would have preferred getting raped up the butt, so maybe it was fate we didn´t make it in time. On the train home the man next to us puked in a bag. But we met a really nice Canadian man...

After today I think I´m a little more ready to come home.

Hello Portugal!!!!

So I have safely arrived to Portugal and having an absolute BLAST!!! I am staying in the upper level of a house and sleeping on the top bunk with the three girls I'm traveling with. Let me just say that I have been hot and sweaty since the moment I have arrived, I have yet to see a cloud, and am enjoying every second of it...even without AC!

There have honestly been nothing but good times since the moment I arrived. I had a position waiting for me when I can at Heather's bar as a flyer. Which is such a great time. Basically I walk around town or chill at a corner, always surrounded by other flyers because each and every bar has about 4 of them on a night. I'm basically a salesperson trying to get people on the street to come to my bar, Whytes! At Whytes we have the 9 deadly sins, which are nine different shots. If you beat the record they are free, but either way you get a tshirt. Needless to say my bars a good time. I drink for free, in fact I'm expected to be drinking throughout the night, and had a few inductions shots last night!

After work last night a group of 20 flyers headed to the beach and had a bon fire!!! We all went swimming in the ocean in our bras and underwear and then just dried off next the the fire. We didn't end up getting home until 530am!!! Which I'm coming to find is very common. Typical daily schedule of a flyer:

12pm wake up, lay around until 1pm when the rest of your house mates are up and ready go get something to eat. 2pm head to the beach, lay out and swim in the ocean until 5 or 6pm. Shower, chill, internet. 7pm dinner, 8pm work until 230-4ish depending if you stay after hours and drink with the staff! It's a pretty excellent schedule, completely devoid of responsibility! I'm loving it right now!!!

For those of you who may be wondering, I will be returning to Minneapolis on August 28th. I will be back in Appleton over Labor Day weekend and then back to Minneapolis on Tuesday for class!

My Apologies!!!!

It has been far too long!! Very VERY sorry! Living on a mountain I have learned a few things, you are extremely isolated from mankind (I have cabin fever like no other,) weather is extreme, I am either surrounded by cloud which is cold and depressing, or the piercing hot sun feels as though it is a few feet away, and finally the internet is not dependable :( Because of this I had not had internet for 5 days.

I literally JUST booked my flight to Portugal and am Freaking OUT with EXCITEMENT!!! I have four days of work left, tomorrow being Earth Day and a 4 hour hike up the mountain which will be GREAT!!! Than 3 of the easier camp days!! The end is Definitely in sight!!!

As of right now I am a tad concerned about money and what sort of situation I am going to be in upon returning to the States, but I told myself early on that money could not be a worry of mine. Who knows the next time I'll be travelling around Europe!! But I will definitely be seeking out work in Portugal, I'll be in a city that is run by Brits and Aussies so fortunately everything is done under the table!!! While my parents are a bit freaked by this, I'm pumped for the experience!!! Employment sounds very fluid in Lagos!!

While I'm pumped for Lagos and Valencia, I'm really looking forward to returning to all my great friends and fam waiting for me!! I am going to be spending all of Labor Day weekend in Appleton, which I have not frequented since Christmas!!! I am VERY excited! And then I will be driving, oh yes, that's right, driving back to Minneapolis!! Goodbye Megabus!!! Hello transportation options!!!

That's all for now!!

The Stars Have Aligned!

By some act of cosmo power I am no longer working the last two weeks of August!! While I was told this would only happen if I straight up terminated my contract, which I did not do, it happened anyways!!! So now I'm planning on staying in Lagos Portugal for 10 days with some girls from camp. Two of them have been there before and have many connections for lodging and work!!! Than late August we will be going to Valencia Spain to celebrate La Tomatina, which is a tradition where everyone dresses in white, means in the center of the town, garbage trucks of tomatoes arrive, and everyone throws them at each other for hours...because why not?!

I also found out my new site assignment. I will be living in the Pyrnees for the next two weeks and I was also asked to do convoyage, which means I will be accompanying campers to camp from Paris!! So I was able to get two weeks to travel, I get to go back to Paris for a few nights, and then I get to live in the Pyrnees in the south of France for two weeks! Hella awesome!

Pedigocial Concerns

Today I was covering an ESL class for a co-counselor who had the day off. It was American History Day, I was given instructions to break the class into pairs and give each pair a different historical event to research and then teach the class about. I did that and then decided to share a historical event myself, so I showed my class the 'I Have a Dream' speech, and prefaced it by saying MLK was pivotal in the Civil Rights Movement and that he lead many of the demonstrations that led to equal rights.

While we were watching the speech I became extremely upset with myself and AmVil in general. I have spent the past year and a half studying social justice and working with kids that are effectly negatively daily due to racial injustice, and the only thing I had to say about it was the MLK created racial equality. Beyond that, each day at AmVil is themed, each theme perpetuates many of the stereotypes minorities have battled years if not decades to eliminate. The kids I work with are 15-18 years old and we feed them the same ignorant bullshit people learn from cowboy and indians & mobster movies.

While I recognize the language difference, and could argue a disadvantage when attempting to discuss current racial hardship in American, I still think it is worth the effort and possibility of difficult communication. I realized today, that while it may be within AmVils Pedigogy to teach various aspects of American culture through the use of inaccurate stereotypes, my personal pedigogy disagrees. Since being at camp I have not been challenged, often due to lack of diversity, to continue to think about the different social structures that are set up in my favor and put those of lower economic status or darker skin through greater obstacles. I miss working for PL, having conversations with young people about the difficulities they face and what they are willing to do to change them. And more than ever, I'm excited for HECUA in the fall. It's exactly what I need!

Second Session

Last session I served as an ESL teacher. Meaning I taught English for two hours a day, created my own lesson plans, and was responsible for making the evening programs run smoothly. As and ESL teacher and the General Store manager (which I did during free time) I had very little time to engage in the activities. This was frusturating to me and also my assistant director, because she realized I was athletic and could teach games well the second day in.

So for this session I am now an Activities Counselor!!! So my responsibilities are now to prep Congress (an hour long activity after ESL; we teach a song, cheer, do some sort of 'aerobics' and then a skit to represent the theme of the day.) Prepping Congress entails switching out the signs and creating any necessary props. Because we have many of the same theme days as last session, our prep work is extremely limited. So the past two days I have had at least one hour to myself in the morning, and then in the afternoon I get to play different sports and activities for three hours! I can go to bed right after our 11pm meeting with no lesson to plan, and I can wake up right before breakfast because I have no classroom to prepare. As of right now I'm really enjoying the switch.

A few things that have recently occured:

I began reading Twilight...yes I gave in after watching the movie and being told repeatedly the book is better. And it is in fact MUCH better, I'm in LOVE!

Yesterday I realized I have been vegetarian for 4 years!!!

An Ode to Bureaucratic Bullshit

I have officially finished my first of four sessions with American Village. It is odd to say but the kids and schedule were the least exhausting part of my job. Instead of the likely sources of exhaustion and frustration, it was my staff.

As I have mentioned there have been many issues with staff. The two that left were an obvious problem. Two will be leaving tomorrow because of AWFUL work ethic, and one of the replacements is as good as gone because all he does is take smoke breaks. But worst than the counselors that are unproductive and lack a team mentality is our Site Director.

The first few days of work many of the counselors were put off by the way that my SD speaks to us. She will often yell at people for not following her vague orders and tell us that we are conducting the day in a horrible fashion while offering no suggestions or constructive criticism. Successes go unmentioned, and failures are always broughten up. We shrugged it off after being told that it is the French Way of dealing with staff. She is the Director, what she says and the manner she says it in goes. While I would chose to direct a staff differently, I have tried not to let her poor managing skills effect my attitude or outlook on this camp. However, in addition to yelling at and embarassing us she constantly changes rules and breaks French laws and camp policies.

The past three nights me and three fellow counselors have shared wine after the campers went to bed and just vent about all the bullshit and inappropriate choices my SD has made the past two weeks. Without these times to get it out of our system I don't think we would be able to maintain the energy we do throughout the day. But it's complicated by the fact that one of my fellow counselors is the Assistant Director and she is in a constant struggle whether or not to report the wrongdoings to our SD's supervisor. While this seems like a simple decision it is complicated by the fact that our SD is dating her supervisor, and the things that the supervisor has already been notified of have been completly dismissed and ignored. So if we were to get anything changed the AD would have to go over the head of our SD's supervisor and go straight to the top Director of AmVil. This would not only piss off the SD but in addition would piss off her supervisor!!!

Oh Bureaucratic Bullshit

Camp Life

There are three days left of my first session at camp and my attitude has completely shifted! I just realized I will never see any of the kids ever again!! Which is so very sad to me.

While there are a group of boys who are always looking for trouble when together; names Segway, Sprite, Fraggle, Fonzie, Obama, and Cash Money, apart they are so sweet and knowing that they will no longer be around to test the boundaries is sad to me.

Maverick and I have become really close. He is 15 and a Half, as he likes to say, and is always looking to improve his English. While he has really strong English and we have adult like conversations often, he will repeat different words like neither when it is something he is trying to remember to incorporate into his speaking. He is so very sweet and I will miss him lots and lots!

Then there is a group of kids that are some of the youngest at camp; Daffy, Wiley, PeeWee, Snap, Butterfly, Hermine, Fire, and Wind, and they all just broke out of thier bubbles and are really vocal and hilarious. The way to interact with each other, laugh at silly things, and form relationships is so adorable!

And then there are some of my family members who are always the head of attention, never do things that are really bad but are always pushing the boundaries; Blue, Crackle, Peyton, Milkshake, Penguin, South Park, and Pop. I love them all, they love mocking me, and we have lots of fun together!

I find it hilarious that I will forever remember these kids by their idiodic camp names! When speaking about them to people, and brining up names like Milkshake and Segway I can't help but laugh and love American Village a little bit more!!!

Status Update

Just found out today I will be at my current site through July. Today was the halfway point of my first of four sessions. Up until today I was worried that I would not be able to stick out the summer. While I was expecting an incredible amount of work and exhausting day, there have been a lot of personality conflicts among staff. Are largest issues are not the kids, it is our lack of chemistry and aligned thinking among the counselors and director. But we are doing our best to iron out the wrinkles.

I am still considering doing three 2 week sessions instead of four. I'm concerned that I will need a little more time to relax after camp and before school, and as of right now I have 3 1/2 days before school starts after I return. So I talked to the camp director about it, she said she'd see what she could do (but it's the hardest session to staff) and I should see if any of the counselors that committed to one month would be interested in taking on another 2 week stint. I've decided to leave it up to fate, I can argue positives and negatives for each scenario...

Pump it...LOUDER

Camp is amazing, it's a constant test of what I am able to do physically, mentally, emotionally, and creatively. I've never been in an environment before where I was expected to produce so many creative and entertaining ideas on such limited time, but luckily the sleep deprivation makes crazy ideas pop into your head!

The people I'm working with are all amazing rock stars...that is the people who have stayed on board. Two nights ago two of our couselors, the Australian couple, decided to pack their bags and hop the gate in the middle of the night because they didn't want to do it anymore. It was really shocking to see them go in that way and made our day yesterday an absolute cluster-fuck. But we made it through, everyone else had to pitch in a little more of their time and energy, but honestly it really turned out fine and I think they were dragging us down with the negative energy. As one counselor said, sometimes you need to cut the fat off the beef! So we will be getting two new counselors within the next few days and hopefully they add some amazing energy to the team!

As far as camp in general, it has been amazing. I am teaching ESL and really enjoying the experience of teaching a language to people. My class is the mid level class, so they know enough to hold a conversation about the basics but not much more than that. I've been working a lot with them on informal conversation. Things like what's up, how's it going throw them off if you are asking them how they are. They are used to the question 'how are you' and I almost always get a "I am fine thank you, and you" response. So we are working on saying I'm good, confused, mad, and responding to What's up with "not much." Each camp day is also themed so that provides me topics to talk about in class. So far we've had Discover America, Hit Music, and Wild Wild West. Tomorrow's Valentines Day and we have a huge Boom (ie dance) I canNOT wait. It is going to be amazing!!!

Yesterday was Hit Music Day, our second activity of the day was a Dance Rota(tion) where the kids learned five different dances. I taught my jig... and actually learned a new version in the process. Being able to teach a dance not many knew and that involved a partner was really incredible and helped me strengthen a lot of relationships with the campers. So I taught the jig, they also learned Soulja Boy, a pop dance, salsa, and Thriller. Than for Evening Program, which is the last thing they do before bed, we had a "So You Think You Can Dance" competition! It was amazing and there are a few really talented dancers...all guys. So I'm anticipating one heck of an amazing BOOM! With the flares of jig, salsa, and techno dance it should be amazing!

Until next time...

Here @ Camp

Wowsers! It feels like a century since I've had time to sit down and reflect on my life...even though it's only been a few days since my last entry. My days at camp have been completely jammed packed with different things to prepare before the campers arrive tomorrow evening.

After much deliberation my camp name is Tiny Dancer. I am on a team of really amazing people who go by Dr Pepper, Nomad, Spanky, Dori, Shark Bait, Cheese Whiz, and Chainsaw to name a few. It is so exciting to be surrounded by a group of people with such energy and creativity. I know some amazing things will be produced amongst us!

While I will be going by Tiny Dancer, and a member of the Billy Jean family (there are five families and we got to pick the theme of the last names, we wanted to pay tribute to Michael Jackson so our families are Billy Jean, Thriller, Bad, Smooth Criminal, Beat It.) However I also will be taking on the personality of a Ms Daisy during free time as I manage the general store now known as 'Ms Daisy's Hideaway.' I can't wait to see all the crazy personailities that emerge from Tiny Dancer, Ms Daisy, and the numerous other characters I will be playing in our many MANY skits!

So far camp is nothing but exciting...and a little tiring. I know the days will be long (even without the kids here we've been putting in 18 hours,) but I know it will make for one hell of a summer!

New Phase

i am leaving life as I have known it the past 17 days and reentering a life of structure and work. While I know it will be a blast, I don't think I'm ready to leave the freedom and mutability I am currently experiencing.

This is my address for the next 15 days, I would love a personal update from anyone who is willing!!

Megan Mueller
American Village de Bretagne
5 place Anne de Bretagne
BP 70366
56503 LOCMINE

My Parisian Way

Paris has been a pivital point in my travels. I came here with an air of traveler's confidence after surviving Amsterdam and Brugge and later laughed at myself for it.

Navigating through my first and second Paris metro stations was full of discouraging, uplifting, and extremely comical moments. I realized half way through the process of getting to my hostel that before the day of my arrival I wouldn't have considered going to Manhatten and struggling through their metro station alone, but somehow I was certain upon arrival in Paris that I was more than capable to get through their metro...while the language barrier added a few more struggles than i would have faced in Manhatten I still survived and eventually found my hostel. What could have taken me 25 minutes took over 3 hours...but by the end I felt equipped with more than enough material to write a short guide on experiential learning!!

As for my life in Paris, it's absolutely wonderful. I made friends with a roommate my first night. She is from Seattle and was in the process of meeting up with her sister. Our first morning together we went to a cafe for breakfast...I no longer get upset by the small size of my morning coffee, in fact i've learned to embrace it. less is more, right?

Anyway my friend had met a guy from California the previous night, introduced me to him, and I spent my next few days with my newest and dearest friend Todd! Our first day together was packed with a trip (to the top of) the Eiffel Tower, a walk through and around Notre Dam Cathedral (via transportation of the botabùs), and the most amazing pub crawl of my life. I met loads of people from Canada, Australia, the states, Brazil, the UK, and Sweeden. We drank and danced until 3am and than walked home a very VERY long ways. All the while Todd and I looked out for eachother and became best friends after discovering our mutal interest in swing and salsa dancing at the club!

The next day was spent recovering from the previous night, touring some free museums, and catching up on some rest. I have enjoyed my time in Paris much more than I anticipated. It's extremely easy to navigate, I love making quick and meaningful friendships, and the bread is top of the line! But I am very much looking forward to camp, only two more days!!

Brugge

Sorry, this is long overdue... and the keyboard im typing with has a different layout than what i'm used to so please be forgiving of spelling errors!

Brugge was absolutely wonderful, in fact it felt like 3 days of pure bliss. i stayed at the home of Annelies and spent time with her as well as other frisbee buddies. Every night we sat in their garden (gardens are our equivelent of a yard/patio/garden. in the states.) we would eat delicious food; a lot of olives, cheese, and fish, and drank like royalty. All the while sharing stories and talking about cultural differences with Annelies' parents. It was the most comfortable I have been in months. Even though Annelies' parents had their differences from my own, they shared the same ability to welcome their child's friends. It was very reminiscent of all the times i had friends over in my garden and my parents would give us food, drink, and friendly chatter. It was really wonderful.

As for the city of Brugge, it's one large tourist attraction...but for good reason. Many of the tourists were older, the land is pretty flat and it's much easier for older people to get around Brugge, it's not as large as other tourist cities. But the city is absolutely beautiful, very rich in history, and full of good beer!

Deserai de vu devoje...

I just found this posting in my drafts, which I didn't know how to access up until now. I saw it and laughed out loud! I wrote it right after getting into Paris, when I was paying for 4 euro for a half hour of internest. It quickly wrote down notes of what I wanted to say and was planning to elaborate later, but I like the notes better!

Deserai de vu devoje...I am not claiming this is close to being spelt correctly, but it was the advice given to me on my train ride from Broussel to Paris. It means I'm sorry to trouble you. I was told saying that and taking all blame in unfortunate situations will help me in Paris.

1. Everyone is in a hurry

2. I could teach exp learning...stumbled my way through all possible the awkward learning moments in 3 hours

3. Manhatten?

XOXO XXX

Today is my final day in Amsterdam, while I am sad to be leaving, the anticipation of new adventures in new cities is keeping me upbeat. I know at some point in my life I will return to reunit with the amazing people, beauty of the city, biking culture, and endless adventures.

Things I most enjoyed about Amsterdam:
Windmill Windup. Not only was I introduced to a new culture of people and sport, I was able to eat off a frisbee for an entire weekend and take my first public nudie shower...while singing Build Me Up Buttercup!

The flower market. Unfortunately the U.S. will not allow me to bring back living goods. If this were not the case everyone I know would be receiving a precious gift of botanical life. The flower market was ten blocks along a canal, with some of the most beautiful and most interesting plants I've seen...loved it.

The public library. This was a personal discovery. My diamond in the rough, or more accurately my modern in the historic. I was able to appreciate the amazing arcitecture and design while using their free internet in a familiar environment! I went here most days after Jesse left and I loved it each and every time.

Boat Tour. Bicyclemark was kind enough to give Katie and myself a tour through the canals...and open water. While I was a bit terrified during the open water portion of the tour, it was all worth it. It was an incredible way to see the city and get to know two amazing people!

The Brothers Bloom. I originally went to this movie because I was offered a free ticket, but it turns out I loved it! It's hilarious, a cute plotline, and has an epileptic woman...for anyone who enjoyed Natalie Portman in The Garden State this is for you!


Things I least enjoyed about Amsterdam:
The tiny (and expensive) non-refillable cups of coffee. Even though they were accompanied by a cookie from time to time, it never compensated for the lack of liquid.

I am going to leave you with the same three words of advice I was given during my free walking tour.
1. Be discrete. While many people only associate Amsterdam with coffee shops and the redlight district (and I want to kick each and every one of them for not appreciating the many MANY amazing qualities of the city) these things are not actually legal, they are tolerated. So be discrete.

2. As long as it doesn't hurt anyone, including yourself.

3. As long as it's good for business. Which is why coffee shops and the red light district are tolerated...

And if you are looking for a good laugh and a little (exaggerated) insight into some Holland tradition, check out 6 to 8 black men by David Sedaris...it's worth your time, promise!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sbJpRLhaSqs
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vU1D1HKTDCY&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g17Pl7MFMco&feature=related

Good Spirit

I have been involved with competitive athletics the majority of my walking years. And in all of my experiences, there have been far and few that have topped what I experienced this past weekend at the Windmill Windup, Amsterdam's Ultimate Frisbee Tournament.

I was in what was considered a pick up team, meaning people from all over that have little to no connection to one another, come together to play in the tournament as a team. Mine was initiated by a few people that had played together in Australia a few years back. Our full roster was filled with people from all over, the States, Canada, Holland, Australia, France, and of all levels of play. We instantly meshed as a team and created a name for ourselves as great competitors...and partiers!

This was my first competitive Ultimate Frisbee experience, but I was lucky enough to have been surrounded by many people who were passionate about the game as well as me learning. I realized throughout the three day tournament there are an incredible amount of strategic parallels in Frisbee and basketball, so I caught onto things pretty quickly.

There were many MANY things about the Windmill Windup that made me LOVE Frisbee tournaments, but the greatest piece was the idea of spirit. In Ultimate Frisbee there are no judges or referees. There are fouls, picks, and other penalties called, but they are called by those playing. The opposite team has an opportunity to agree or contest and from there the play may resume or start over. Needless to say there is often a certain degree of tension among teams throughout the process of coming to these decisions, but along the way the idea of spirit is always carried on.

When a game begins players often shake hands and wish the person they are defending good luck. Whenever an indiscretion on a play arises, the players involved in sorting it out always end shaking hands. Throughout the play of the game, while remaining competitive, the players keep in mind the idea and importance of having good spirit...or being a good sport.

The absolute best showcase of spirit occurs following the game. Both teams come together in a circle, arm and arm and give feedback and thanks for the game. There are often gifts symbolizing the teams origins given to the other team, and many times a fun game/competition is played between the two teams. The post-game activities are my favorite because they make all the competitors human again. People relax and laugh and leave behind them any frustration or anger they may have had following the game. Because of this Frisbee players become extremely close with people on other teams and have phenomenal parties together!

This is much longer than I intended. So I'll wrap up with the following:

http://www.windmillwindup.com/2009/photosvideo.html >>>Check this out. It's a video made by BicycleMark, a guy I have met, hung with, and even given an origami peace crane... The video will give you a better idea of the wonderful spirit shared throughout the weekend!

Amsterdam Experience

I am currently sitting in Jesse's apartment due to rain. I have learned the past three days that living below sea level causes a lot of clouds and randoms sprinklings of rain...but I still love it here!!

My days have been packed full of outings on our bikes and delicious food. I found out quickly that the Dutch love their cheese as well as their beer. The Wisconsinite in me has reached Nirvona!! I spent my first day getting a tour through the city and eating a home cooked meal at Jesse's girlfriend's place. She lives in this complex made from the cabins of old ships...cool, I do believe so! Afterwards we went to an ultimate frisbee practice followed by a trip to the local pub.

The next day Jesse and I took on the town. We first went to a resturant from brunch... turns out the Dutch do not tip nor do they care about turnover. We sat next to a canal and enjoyed our food and coffee (which was tinier than the mugs the Loring serves with, but I didn't mind.) Afterwards we biked across town to a ship museum and grabbed a Heinakin (they are everywhere) and played life size Connection. We followed this by a trip to one of the few micro-brewerys, which is within a windmill and than worked on our frisbee skills in a park.

As you can see I have been indulging in mostly food, beer, biking, and frisbee.

Today has been a bit slower of a day. We're preparing for our upcoming tournement. This morning we got supplies to cook out and make pasta salad. I got cut off by a moped on my way to the store and slipped on the tram rail...first fall in Amsterdam. But it wasn't a huge deal. I moved on and decided everyone needs at least one spill. We also got red tees to make Rambo headbands to intimidate our opponents...watch out Joint Strike Force will be taking home the championship this weekend!!!

On a different note...I emailed all my fellow counsolers and we have all been chatting up a storm via email. I'm really excited to meet everyone. The veterans have been making the camp sound like the most amazing summer job in the world! Just what I need, a little more paradise to go on top of my exisiting paradise!

Peace out!

Leaving on a Jet Plane...

I could not have asked for a more wonderful send off weekend! I have spent the past three days with some of the greatest people I know and appreciate every moment and memory we shared together this weekend.

My roommates, Matt, Joe, & I ventured off to Northern Wisconsin for a weekend at Jen's lake house. Despite the less than ideal temperatures we managed to keep ourselves creatively entertained. After getting back to Minneapolis we cleaned up for a nice dinner downtown and one or two quarter flips...as history would predict, one or two drinks turned into us staying out until bar close.

I woke up early this morning to finish packing and say my farewells to those I haven't yet spoken with. I feel very lucky to have the opportunity of going abroad and being supported by my friends and family at the same time. I cannot wait to experience and then tell you about all the adventures, moments of intense confusion, and over comings that will surely take place in the next three months.

Goal #1: remain in control of my sanity during my upcoming 18 hour travel extravaganza!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z3JWFklREK8

Apricot Bath

This is a poem I discovered in high school. It remains one of my favorites. I've been struggling to find an appropriate way to start this blog. Do I rant about my life? Do I rant about my views? Do I rant about my interests? I don't know proper blog-beginning etiquette. While doing some research for a class project this popped into my head. I probably haven't thought about it in over a year, but when it crossed my consciousness I instantly knew it was the perfect blog-beginning entry.

Enjoy!

I don't want to be sexy right now
I don't feel like arranging myself
in positions that will delight your eyes
arranging myself so that my stomach doesn't show
so that you can't see my feet
I don't feel like making the effort
I want to sit next to you
in an apricot bubble bath
and talk about why your politics conflict with mine
without your staring at my breasts
I want to sit cross-legged
lean forward with my elbows on my knees
and listen to your reasoning
without your peering down between my thighs
I want us to be two sexless beings
watching the steam curl off the water
but if you must love me
love the little smooth scar on my knee
not my eyes
love my round belly
not my legs
love the two freckles on my neck
that look like a vampire's kiss
not my lips
love my square, pudgy toes
not my smile
I want to inhale the apricot fumes
brush the bubbles from your shoulder
and argue with you over our beliefs
I don't want anything to be sexual
even though we're both naked and
our feet are kissing under the tepid water
I want us to stay in the bath
until we don't know
where water ends and skin begins
until I know
why you are who you are
until you love me
for my flaws and what I believe in
then we can rise from the water
skin soft and glowing
like apricots, lit from within
wrap ourselves in the towels
of each other and then
you can kiss me.

by Caitlin Bell