Apricot Bath

This is a poem I discovered in high school. It remains one of my favorites. I've been struggling to find an appropriate way to start this blog. Do I rant about my life? Do I rant about my views? Do I rant about my interests? I don't know proper blog-beginning etiquette. While doing some research for a class project this popped into my head. I probably haven't thought about it in over a year, but when it crossed my consciousness I instantly knew it was the perfect blog-beginning entry.

Enjoy!

I don't want to be sexy right now
I don't feel like arranging myself
in positions that will delight your eyes
arranging myself so that my stomach doesn't show
so that you can't see my feet
I don't feel like making the effort
I want to sit next to you
in an apricot bubble bath
and talk about why your politics conflict with mine
without your staring at my breasts
I want to sit cross-legged
lean forward with my elbows on my knees
and listen to your reasoning
without your peering down between my thighs
I want us to be two sexless beings
watching the steam curl off the water
but if you must love me
love the little smooth scar on my knee
not my eyes
love my round belly
not my legs
love the two freckles on my neck
that look like a vampire's kiss
not my lips
love my square, pudgy toes
not my smile
I want to inhale the apricot fumes
brush the bubbles from your shoulder
and argue with you over our beliefs
I don't want anything to be sexual
even though we're both naked and
our feet are kissing under the tepid water
I want us to stay in the bath
until we don't know
where water ends and skin begins
until I know
why you are who you are
until you love me
for my flaws and what I believe in
then we can rise from the water
skin soft and glowing
like apricots, lit from within
wrap ourselves in the towels
of each other and then
you can kiss me.

by Caitlin Bell